When you’re small talking it with someone, a totally normal question to strike up a good convo is “Where did you meet your spouse?” Such an easy question… such a complicated answer.
When Jacob and I were leading separate lives, we were basically both dumpster fires waiting to happen. I was recently separated from a toxic marriage, and he was partying it up, mid-20s style, with a string of questionable companions.
Cut to a bachelor/bachelorette party in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding party, and was looking forward to a fun-filled weekend of escaping reality.
When we first entered our hotel suite, I was introduced to another bridesmaid, and sister-in-law of the bride. “This is Jacob’s,” she said as she retrieved a hat from the kitchen counter. That was the first time I ever heard his name. *tear* (If your not used to me being cheesy and sentimental… you’re going to want to look away now.)
That night we partook in normal bachelorette party shenanigans. I knew that in the morning, we were going to mix it up with the groom and his bachelor party for breakfast(morning drinks) at the Irish Pub.
The next day, we were walking down the boardwalk to our meet up, when we ran into some of the guys from our counter-party. One of them, in particular, caught my eye, and I was immediately drawn to him. I was brazen in my younger years, walked right up to him, and said, “Hi. What’s your name?”
The action and response that reciprocated my question, can only be described as a small child being scolded by his mother. “Jacob” he whispered in my general direction, dropped his head, and shuffled quickly into the Irish Pub. I hollered towards his back, “Ok! See ya later!” But really, who is this kid?!
That morning, we had an incredibly fun time! There was laughing and mingling and drinking. Good times had by all. But I couldn’t help searching for this “Jacob” character. I honestly thought I scared him away.
At one point, the person I was talking to got up to go to the bathroom. Before I knew it, Jacob sat down in the open chair. I was taken by surprise, but so excited to get to know this human.
Conversation came so easily, and a natural and quick connection formed. My first impression was that he was overly confident, bordering on arrogant, but later learned that is just him pushing through his shyness. But one thing was for sure, I was head over heels for this fool.
Now, we have to backtrack for a second. If you know me, you know a few things:
1. I am terrified of commitment. Despite the fact that I was a serial monogamist, and married at a young age, I would self-sabotage every single relationship I was in.
2. I am cynical about everything. I am the voice in your head that says, “Don’t trust that! It’s not real! There is nothing happy in this world!”
3. It’s nice to watch love in movies, but that’s not real life. #sorrynotsorry
4. I honestly was unable to comprehend when I was hurting other people’s feelings, because I had never felt strong enough about someone to have my own feelings hurt. I didn’t even know what that was like.
Cut back to our story. As we sat there, exchanging ordinary information about ourselves, the way I felt was anything besides ordinary. I realized I loved Jacob at first sight, which went against every fiber of my being.
We left the Irish Pub together and spent the day on the beach, soaking up the sun and each minute together. Later that evening, the first text I sent him read, “I think I’m in love with you.” And he never responded… because his phone was broken… from the sand on the beach.
But we were able to reconnect, and the rest is the fairytale we’re living out now, if a fairytale is two people, wildly in love, raising three small humans who frequently pee on the floor and yell at you.
Apart, Jacob and I were like two F5 tornados, spinning wildly out of control, but when we collided, we created stability for each other. Something we both so desperately needed.