1. Let us sleep until we are ready to take on the day. That might mean you will have to *gasp* get everyone’s breakfast ready. When we finally roll out of bed, don’t say, “Wow, what’s it like to sleep in?” We will hurt you. Here’s what you should do instead…
2. As soon as we wake up, simply hand us our coffee in our favorite mug, and let us drink the entire thing while it’s still hot. Unless you’ve choreographed a “Happy Mother’s Day” number with the children, just let us sit there, in total silence, enjoying our caffeine.
3. We don’t want to cook any food all day. We don’t care if you make it, a store makes it, or McDonald’s makes it, just as long as we didn’t make it.
4. If the children are about to smack down, step in and diffuse the situation. No one is allowed to yell or hit or wrestle on our day.
5. We want to watch adult friendly TV, like Friends or The Office. We will watch Moana and Tangled if the children need some quiet time. But if anyone so much as whispers “Caillou,” we will go on a laundry strike.
6. If you are going to buy us a gift, it should not be for cleaning or even remotely related to household chores. Unless, of course, it’s a Roomba… we definitely want a Roomba.
7. It would be really great if we could sit down and not have anyone say, “MOMMY! I need a drink!” the second we get comfortable. Like, one full hour of uninterrupted sitting would be a dream.
8. We want to bathe in peace, with no one knocking on the door, asking where their shoes are. The only thing we want you to say to us is, “Would you like to drink your coffee in there?” The answer is yes.
9. Don’t say things like, “Isn’t it too early to be drinking?” Or “Are you sure you want to eat that? It’s not on your diet.” Everyone knows calories don’t count on Mother’s Day.
10. We are looking for an atmosphere that equally balances not seeing any of our children, and also seeing them all the time. You will need to make this happen.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the great mommas out there! You’re all super heroes, and deserve a wonderful day, celebrating you!
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!