The Irish Twins and Their Little Leprechaun Friend

Once upon a time, there were two babies born 12 months apart by the same birth control ignoring parents. They were close in age by far from similar.

One had the quickest of wit and could formulate full sentences before she slept through the night. She had a fierce attitude and only wore dresses, knee high socks, braided pigtails, gold glittery shoes, and Minnie Mouse ears. If any other clothing item was presented to her, she would verbally attack the presenter until they had no will to live. She was tiny in stature and enormous in sass.

And the other was shaped like a bowling ball and he was the shyest of them all. He had a chronic illness, but that didn’t stop him from running around like a wild animal, throwing balls of all shapes and weights directly at people’s heads. He ate all the things and because his mother had to count every carb that entered his mouth, she was constantly chasing him and shouting, “What’s in your mouth?! How much did you eat? Seriously! Stop eating the floor food! It’s been down there for weeks!”

Despite being complete opposites, they were the best of friends. They played together, watched the same movies, and best of all, they were on the same sleep schedule.

Then, when the Irish Twins were just 1 and 2, their mother had another little baby. It was a girl. She had hair and teeth and walked way too early. That is all we know because she was the third child and there is no further documentation about her.

At least once each day, every single day, their mother would look around and think, “What fresh hell is this?” But she persisted because she knew that these days were moving all too fast. Not so much the sleepless nights, they were moving slower than her husband doing literally anything around the house.

Now these children are 3, 2, and 10 months. The oldest one says things like, “I actually don’t want to eat chicken nuggets for dinner” and “That dress is the worst! I’m never wearing that ever!” And the middle one poops in the bath tub 100% of the time. And the baby just exists. And the mother hides in her bedroom sometimes while she shovels Oreos into her mouth. And they continue to live happily, crazily, sleeplessly ever after.

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