“Mommy! Is it time for bathy?” My kid can hear me whisper to my husband, in a different room, with the door closed, that at some point today we HAVE to do baths, but she can’t hear me yell at her from 3 feet away to stop smashing Goldfish into the carpet.
The first step to bath time in our house is just to continually push off bath time until we’ve exhausted every excuse we can think of. This could go for hours, a day, multiple days… the time frame here varies.
Once it’s time to finally buckle down and get these kids clean, we start with prep work. I rifle through their drawers and find clean pajamas, because there’s no need for real clothes when you don’t leave the house.
Then, we run the bath. This part is super painful because we answer the question “Can we get in yet?” so many times, I don’t even know what the number is called. And when it is finally time to get in, they need to bring every toy they own.
The older two (Ceci – 3 and Piet – 2) still bathe together, but right as she steps in, Ceci always has reservations about taking a bath with her brother. “I don’t want to do bathy with Piet! He poops! I don’t want poop on me!” I lie and tell her he won’t do it this time. I think she’s on to me, but reluctantly gets in anyway.
Here’s when the real fun begins. And by fun, I mean extreme torture. Keeping these two seated in the tub is harder than winning an Olympic gold in pairs ice skating, but similar in that there are a lot of arm motions and the guy always falls.
My kids clearly have no idea the reason they take baths is to get clean. When soap is introduced into the mix, their level of annoyance is a teenager asked to clean their room on a Saturday. If someone was listening in, they’d think we were abusing them. “Mommy, stop!” “NO!!!” “Don’t do that!” “Not my head. Not my head!”
Finally, bath time is coming to an end and it’s time to let the water drain. The only way they will exit the bathroom is a freeze out. As they play, we secretly flip the drain lever, and then wait. Ceci always notices first and aggressively attempts to collect all the water in her cups.
This is also the point where Piet decides to relieve himself. It could be pee, it could be poop, it could be a combo piece, but one thing’s for sure, it will definitely happen.
*CUE BATH ROUTINE RESTART*